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Caylie May

What It's Really Like to Live By Yourself

This was literally something I would get asked all the time!


Honestly, having your own place is heaven! Don't need to chase up rent payments from housemates, don't need to hassle anyone to keep the place tidy, and don't need to worry about the risk of friendships changing (a sad reality when you spend more time and space with someone than you perhaps should). It's total independent bliss.


But do you know what? It is so hard though when you are craving baked potatoes for dinner and are slumped on the couch in an absolutely filthy, lazy mood. All you can think about is baked potatoes and the long arduous task ahead of washing, peeling, and omg just the thought of getting up off the couch sounds like too much to bear. But who else is going to make your baked potatoes? Take note. It’s all worth it. As you can see your self-discipline will always be kept in check.


"How can you afford that? It's so expensive."

It really isn't. You can find yourself a nice place that is affordable and still save- just don't set your standards too high. Make exceptions for the things that really aren't a big deal, it's a temporary living arrangement after all. Yes, you obviously save money sharing with someone, but realistically paying a little bit extra each week for having the entire place to yourself is worth every cent!


"Don't you get scared at night?"

I can totally see why some people would, but it really does come down to how comfortable you are in the property you have chosen. When inspecting think about all the things that can impact your safety. Would you feel safe in the home's location? Can the property be securely locked? Are you confident that the real estate agent will do their best to help you? I used to live in an apartment that had a really weak lock on the back door. The landlord went out of her way to get me the best deadlock she could find to make me feel safe. Confidence with the property AND the people is super important.


"Seriously, don't you get lonely?"

Again I think this comes down to how comfortable you feel in the property, but also how comfortable you feel spending time with just yourself. I know of many people who don't like the idea because they are more comfortable with people around them. But if you are naturally someone who likes their own space, enjoys their "me-time" and is probably more likely an introverted soul, loneliness will not be an issue for you.


"But how do I organise the utilities?"

Fortunately, this part is actually pretty simple. You can either take control of that yourself or elect someone to do it on your behalf. By someone I mean there are actually people out there whose job it is to figure out what your best deal is and organise the connections for you. I've chosen both options before and I prefer to organise it all myself. Personally, I think it's better to be fully aware of what's going on, just in case of any hiccups and you find yourself without electricity on move in day!


"How do I control my money?!"

I used to have a notebook where I noted down everything I bought and how much it cost each pay cycle, which I found helpful to keep track of my spending. I find being really disciplined in this area will help you A LOT! Just ignore the laughs of people who brush off your declines for a meal with "it's just ten dollars!" Ugh *eye roll. I also know that some people like to organise a budget. Just make the effort to save a little amount each pay and you'll figure out as you go along where your money should be going.


"Do you think I could live on my own?"


If it's something you want to pursue then why not? Maybe it's not for you but you're not going to know unless you try. Have a think about this.


You have to be content with your own company and able to recharge in the freedom of your own solitude rather than around others.


You have to be proactive (a lot more than you think). Sure, you manage the bills, groceries, maintenance but there can also be times when you feel like the last time you spoke to another human was the summer of 1997. If you can proactively schedule in interaction time, then you're good.


You have to be self-reliant. And man, if you’re not then this will sure teach you to be! You the boss!


You have to be ok with sole responsibility and for holding yourself accountable if need be. If something is not right take charge and address it.


You have to know when to draw the line. You might have friends come over late at night who test your newfound freedom out. They decide to drink, act like idiots and get wayyyy to rowdy or out of hand. Remember, you sign a contract before you move in. Your visitors don’t. Any consequence lies with you.


It's not for everyone. But for those of us who it is for, it is just so rewarding. Or in my opinion, one of the best things I've ever done!

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