People are scared of what they don’t understand.
It’s a natural human trait to feel more inclined to follow- follow the social trends, follow others behaviour or opinions, follow what you think others want you to be doing. People want to fit in. People want to feel accepted. How do they find that acceptance? They conform and alter their identity in an attempt to be more appealing to others. That’s why they say liking yourself is an act of rebellion because deep down not everyone feels they can do it.
Remember those high school days? There were always those kids that stood out and it wasn’t due to “popularity”. Those kids stood out because they appeared ‘different’. They challenged social conformity. They dressed in their own unique way, they experimented with wild, unconventional hairstyles and they had their close-knit group of similar friends. As a result, they were labelled with the “weirdo” tag. Do you remember those kids? People would rather throw insults at them than approach them. Put simply- it was all because they just didn’t understand these people would rather be themselves than conform for popularity. I talk about it in past tense but we all know it is something that all generations have/and will inevitably go through.
It’s a pattern of behaviour that we can even see in those that have passed adolescence. It doesn’t even have to be appearance-based. It could be due to someone’s actions; change of circumstances or even decisions they make in life. A shift in someone’s perspective on life may happen and others don’t know how to approach them, simply because they don’t understand who this new person is. In order to feel somewhat comfortable with the unfamiliarity, it is easier for them to resort to negative judgment or belittling. Which, as we all know, is a reflection of their own insecurity that they perhaps haven't coped with the healthiest way.
Of course, it’s only human that we want to avoid being spoken about in a negative way. So, in turn, we slip into that comfort of feeling some sort of control that we can make others like us by following them and condoning their behaviour. There’s no risk that you’re going to ruffle any feathers like there is if you actually stand up for your self, right?
Remember, people are scared of what they don’t understand. What others think about us is none of our business. Why take them seriously when their judgment is reflecting themselves? Do you have a different opinion from your friends? That is not a bad thing, it’s wonderful! Share it. The right tribe will respect you for it. Are you the team underdog? Amazing! Set your mind to your goals and knock everyone for six. Why follow the crowd when you can be authentically your beautiful self.
By being your unique self, you don’t have that feeling of control over how others perceive you (as you may feel when you 'follow'), it’s understandable that can be seen as a challenge. But then you have to ask yourself- do you even really have control over how others want to think of you in the first place? You never will.
I find so much comfort in the term “you do you.” Being "different" and owning yourself is a powerful act. Put simply- it’s because you refuse to play it safe. You do you so well my love. Why feel like you need to to be anyone else?
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