Imagine being a carefree party girl one day and then a full-time carer to four beautiful children the next? The reality of life-change hit Torquay local Britt Draper with full force. Now she is one of the most admired, strong and kind hearted souls on the Surf Coast.
Ice breaker! What is one kooky fact about you that most people don’t know?
I love to name everything! Like my laptops have all had names, my bags, my wallet. I will literally give everything a name!
5 years ago, what did your life look like?
It was sooo different 5 years ago! How do I even explain? I was working in childcare 3 days a week so I could study Naturopathy part-time. I was struggling with fatigue so I was under doctors’ orders to only work 3 days. I was living with my parents just out of Torquay. I wasn’t particularly happy with life because I wasn’t sure what I was doing or what direction I wanted to go in. I was 23 and was partying and making some great mistakes that all make for great stories now.
What does a typical day look like for Britt Draper today?
I’ll say this is the ideal day, this is what I always plan to do before I end up sleeping in or getting distracted haha!
Get up, go to Pilates, swing past Moby, make a smoothie, then shower, get ready and head to my 9-5 job at the Times News Group where I am front of house and distribution manager – pretty much a jack of all trades in the office. Then if it is a night where I am having the kids stay, I’ll go pick Bonnie up and we usually go for a ride along the esplanade, go to the supermarket, head home, cook up a meal and have a bath (where we decide which sea animal we are this night and impersonate said sea animal). Then it’s bedtime stories, a bit of calming sleep app music and I’m out. If I don’t have any of the kids, I’ll have dinner with friends and go for a walk or be a domestic goddess and get house jobs done after work.
You’ve gone through a pretty big life change; can you explain what happened?
Coming up to three years ago, I had been nannying for a family for nearly two years. I was the nanny for Arch (7), Poppy (4), Ryder (2) and Bonnie (3 months) when their mother Ness passed away suddenly while she was on holidays with the family. It was the day before my 25th birthday, we had developed a great friendship and I was devastated. I remember the phone call very vividly; I was in complete shock. I didn’t know how this could happen and I didn’t understand why. I went from living in Melbourne carefree with no responsibilities to moving back to Geelong and taking on life as a full-time carer of 4 children.
Due to the unexpected nature of what happened, how did you cope with such a big change of life?
My initial thought process when this happened was- 'ok how is everyone getting back from QLD?' And it then turned into- 'ok what now what role do I play in all of this?' I didn’t think too much into it once everyone was back and funeral arrangements had been made. I reached out to Chris (the children’s father/ Ness’s husband). He said he didn’t know what was going to happen but that he needed me to be there for the kids, so from there I swung into caring mode. I don’t think I took a step back to look at my life for around 6 months and it was then I really fell apart. I blew up friendships and took to partying to escape reality, it wasn’t a pretty sight but it was my coping mechanism at the time. Grief comes in so many different forms and I’ve seen that play out in everyone involved in this horrible situation. I feel the biggest difficulty wasn’t taking on 4 children, it was dealing with everyone going through the motions of grief. Looking at it now it seems crazy to have such a big change in direction at only 25, but I wouldn’t do a thing differently.
You are amazing! Shall we call you Super Nanny now?
6 months afterwards I nannied but then I took on full-time work and now I play the “aunty” role instead. I have a whole extra family now; we have all become so close and have the kids as our priority. I’m so proud of how far I have come and the influence I have over the monkeys. I adore them and they adore me. Some days are fucking hard, I won’t sugar coat it. I have moments of thinking I never want my own kids after this but then there’s a moment when the 9 yr old sneaks over and sits close to me on the couch and gives me a little hug- it’s those moments that you realise how much you mean to them. As well as how much they rely on you to be in their lives, for you to be consistent for them, show your face weekly, just to be there because one day they might need someone to call or someone to turn to.
Your cheeky sidekicks look like they could help you get away with robbing a bank haha, which roles would you assign to each child (and yourself)?
The Owens could single-handily take down an army I reckon, sneakiest/ cheekiest rat pack going around. Alright well, Poppy Michelle would be the ring leader for sure, followed closely by Bonnie May (who is growing up to have a little bit of the Poppy spark in her eye). They would go in first, taking charge and no doubt hold a hostage for good measure. In would come Archer and Ryder (the softer siblings), They would be in charge of the technical factors and removal of cash making a quick exit on their bikes.
I’d be the getaway vehicle with some tunes playing as we all pack up and drive into the sunset.
You’ve been beautifully vocal about your experience with mental health, how do you stay on top of having a healthy headspace?
Mental health is something I’ve struggled with since I was about 20 and I have been medicated on-and-off for it. I have no filter at the best of times and have developed a habit of talking about my mental health issues. For so long I felt I was different. I felt like I was an emotional nutcase! Then I would overthink about being a nutcase just to make it worse haha. But now I find that once I open up and say 'yeah I overthink and I can’t stop it'. Someone else will say ‘yeah I’ve had that happen’ or ‘I’ve had days I don’t want to get out of bed.’ How amazing is it to feel that you aren’t alone and someone else has these thoughts as well? This is why I am always vocal about it. Staying on top of it has also been a battle. I’m very good at putting too much on my plate and wearing myself thin. I have learnt that exercise is a massive factor for me. I am so much more at ease if I am exercising daily (not always achievable). I am currently trying to get into meditation and taking 5 minutes each day to have a time out. I recently decided to come off my medication but it has been difficult. It takes its toll on my body and causes me lots of stomach pain, so for now I am lowering my dosage and continuing to focus on mindfulness and taking time for myself. Also saying ‘no’ to people which I’ve never done before! I can’t attend everything people invite me to. Learning to stay home by myself and read a book and/or turn my phone off. So that is my priority for myself regarding mental health.
You’ve also made a living from creating all-natural body scrubs, what do you enjoy the most about being a creative?
Oh SPANKD, fun project that one was! I have recently closed down the website and social media for a while. Having a small business was fun and I love creating but it’s hard work and when you are juggling your life and trying to put money into various things it takes its toll, something has to give. I love being creative, nothing makes me happier than coming up with an idea and creating it, especially when others love it as well. I get a sense of feeling proud when I create things. It’s good for my soul to be creative. The new project is an old campervan I want to do up so stay tuned on that front!
Among your talents, you could probably write a book on “Britt’s Awkward Life Moments” (you have the best stories go collect your Logie award already) entertain us with your most awkward first date please?
Oh man, have I had some pearlers in my time! My dating life is a real page-turner, I don’t even know which story to tell. Brace yo selves aha!
So my family go to the Geelong cup each year as it’s a nice family tradition, we all spend it together and obviously have a little too much to drink. So this one year my mum didn’t attend and I had managed to get myself into an afterparty and needed to get home. I had also made a new friend who needed a lift home as well. I called my mum and she said she would come to get me. But in this timeframe, I’d forgotten that and thought ‘I need to order an uber.’ Eventually mum arrives and I climb into the back seat of the car with my new friend. Here it gets a little fuzzy as clearly I would have had a convo with her. But then I proceeded to make out with my new friend and it got a little hot and heavy before dropping him home (where I then stay in the back seat until I’m home). I put myself to bed and wake up to get ready for work the next day, I then get one hell of a message about the car ride home and how gross it was and to never let it happen again. Turns out I had completely forgotten it was my mum driving me home and thought it was an uber! Mortified is an understatement by all parties involved.
What is the wisest piece of information you have ever been told in life?
I’m a big believer in treating others how you wish to be treated, which my mother taught me from a young age. I also like the sentiment of ‘will you remember this in 5 years?’ – If not, move the fuck on. Life isn’t an easy ride and it won’t go the way you planned. Also, a mentor gave me a beautiful letter when I was 14 and it said: “don’t let the knocks of this world change you.”
Images: @brittdraper